A Nigerian Ted Talk alum and “gender activist” was roasted on social media after his “declaration of love” for his future wife went left on July 25.
In a now-deleted Facebook post, Solomon Buchi wrote to Adéọlá Àríkẹ́, “You’re not the most beautiful woman; neither are you the most intelligent woman, but I’ve chosen to never find perfection in anyone else,” he wrote in a since-deleted post. “I put my gaze on you, and with that commitment, we would mold ourselves for ourselves. Our perfection was in our commitment.”
Buchi continued, “Stating that you’re not the most beautiful/ intelligent might sound like it’s not a compliment, yeah? Acknowledging that my woman isn’t the best, but I’m not looking for the best. I was looking for you, and I found you. There’s no best. There is just someone you choose and see the best in them. This, to me, is the real love. Not the one that consoles itself in the faux reality that their partner is the most good-looking, most intelligent, most successful person in the world. That’s disingenuous and doesn’t give room for love to thrive.”
Maybe we should bring back diaries or something pic.twitter.com/dukD7NYOhV
— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) July 25, 2022
First of all, what the hell was that?
Anyway, social media users ate Buchi’s a** up. Black Twitter users couldn’t believe the Nigerian life coach’s audacity. Users on the platform critiqued his looks, admitted this was a not-so-hot take and fawned over Àríkẹ́– his wife-to-be.
Ok so audacity must be on sale. The fact that she’s stunning and is actually the one who makes him look better……. pic.twitter.com/3evjbrey8K
— Danielle (@Ready_I_Rock) July 25, 2022
So he couldn’t just leave it at she is beautiful and smart…he had to take her down a peg? A damn mess! pic.twitter.com/yHrMbCKlzs
— Reecie @BlackWomenViews (@ReecieColbert) July 25, 2022
This him btw. pic.twitter.com/dvbsk2uIgf
— Toma Playgirl oof (@demonohu) July 25, 2022
My husband would be an ancestor after this.
— Toya (@WhatsGoodToya) July 25, 2022
Chiiii, if a sistah would’ve said this about her Black spouse in a public post, it would’ve brought out all the Umar Johnsons & the rest of the International Federation of the Illuminigga, ready to take up arms against the “feminization” or the “emasculation” of the Black man. 🥴 pic.twitter.com/rJoaZ3xD8p
— Nerdy Teddy (@ChoklateHulk) July 26, 2022
What the fuck?! This is so cringe lol
— Roy Kent’s Boo Thang (@kelleent) July 25, 2022
Some Twitter users didn’t see the problem.
It vaguely reminds me of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 130.
Excerpt:
And in some perfumes is there more delight ⁰Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks. ⁰I love to hear her speak, yet well I know ⁰That music hath a far more pleasing sound; pic.twitter.com/vPGLNp16mj
— Kimba Fuzz (@kimbafuzz) July 25, 2022
idk i find this to be pretty sweet. im sure he tells her all the time how beautiful she is, this was just a different type of sentiment and i think it’s precious tbh.
— Lese (@alesenavidad) July 25, 2022
Very lovely piece
Expression of true love
But Nigeria girls love it when u lie to them
“You are the most beautiful” u re the this and that” meanwhile deep down they all know its not true. When u dnt see perfection in someone and choose to be wit them u will hardly cheat on them— 𝒜𝒹𝒶𝓂𝓈 𝒥𝑜𝒽𝓃𝓈𝑜𝓃…✍ (@eligible_adams) July 25, 2022
Buchi and Àríkẹ́ appeared to be unfazed by the online uproar.
The life coach responded to the hoopla with a sorry-not-sorry post on Facebook on July 26.
“Dear World,
The post I made that has rendered many people jobless stays up and nobody is getting an apology — it’s actually bold to assume that I owe strangers an apology for what was written to my woman. Let her speak for herself, I hope to hear her thoughts on her podcast on Friday.
I’ve seen many takes from both people I ‘know’ and strangers. Ridiculous takes, and I will not dispel any of that. Believe what you want to believe. Run with the narrative that suits your perception. Spin up all the big words; label me.”
Buchi continued, “Drag me on blogs, spit vitriolic comments, bull¥ me. That is an expression of you, not me. And hiiiii to all those who patiently waited for a day to gloat over Solomon Buchi being dragged. Clap for me here and slam me there.
2020 tweets, dug up. People evolve; people relearn & while theoretical knowledge is fantastic. Experience can make you see gray areas. You cannot shame me for outgrowing an old ideology. Nahhh. We all evolve and I’m not ashamed to tweak my stance. It’s not hypocrisy; it’s growth.
I saw some respectful dissenting views, and I get it. It’s fine to disagree, but it’s parochial to absolutize. I respect your idea of what constitutes as affirmation in a relationship but mine is different and it’s only balanced to respect mine too.”
“Lastly, you can’t have the world, but have your own person. I can’t even stress this too much. Your own person. And as a Christian, you need someone who is CONVINCED about you, not based on quantitative metrics. Have your own person!
Cheers world, and love lives here.
Oh, and some of you collected wotowoto trying to defend me on all those news outlets and blogs. Pele, dears. My love for you all. Both lovers, h4ters, frenemies and the gist mongers. It’s really all love. I’m at peace and settled.
Welcome to all new followers, here I talk about societal & cultural issues, relationships, gender issues & contemporary worldviews, but in the light of GOD’S WORD. I help with relationship clarity, I write/ghostwrite, I speak, journalist. Lastly, I’m Solomon Buchi; I am solid.”
Àríkẹ́, who is also Nigerian but lives in London, followed her man’s lead while capitalizing on the moment, writing on Facebook, “Wow, the past few days have been intense and interesting. So, if I was to say Solomon Buchi is not the most handsome or the most intelligent, would that make us even…?
I’m still taking some time to process everything that’s happened, but I’ll give my take on @progressgangpod (on Instagram) next episode on Friday.
+.”
The Nigerian couple recently got engaged on June 20, according to a post by Buchi on Instagram.
“Àríké said YES. We are engaged and we’ll be getting married,” he wrote.
“On the 20th of June 2022(our one-year dating anniversary), I asked the most awesome woman @arikeadeola.o, to marry me after a year of dating — one that came with some reconstruction, intentionality and obedience to God. Adeola(@arikeadeola.o) — Àríké Mi, from the first week we spoke over that video call, I knew you were my wife. We’ve grown in the past 1 year plus, we’ve put in arduous work, we’ve had extremely difficult conversations, we’ve struggled, we’ve unlearned and relearned and we are still growing into graceful imperfection. Healthy relationships/marriages aren’t a walk in the park, but it is easier with you because you put in the effort.”
View this post on Instagram
It’s obvious that social media users can feel how they want about Buchi’s, but he said what he said.
We wish them the best.
